Here’s how to buy whale milk online:
You can’t really buy whale milk on the internet.
There are sites that claim to sell it, but they are not verifiable, legitimate businesses or websites, and ordering from them is a risky prospect.
You could conceivably get whale milk from a research team that has a captive whale, but it probably won’t be easy.
So if you want to learn all about finding and purchasing whale milk, then this article is for you.
Let’s jump right into it!
What Is Whale Milk?
Just in case anyone stumbled into this conversation unwittingly, allow me to clarify.
We are talking about literal milk from a female whale.
This would be the very same milk that is used to nurse infant whales, and it is something that people try to acquire or purchase at different points.
There are a lot of reasons.
The most viable reason is that researchers use whale milk samples to test for health conditions and other factors related to marine life.
As an example, a researcher could try to use whale milk samples to see if ocean plastics are having health effects on whale populations.
There is also the reason that some people want to consume whale milk.
As it has been analyzed scientifically, we know that whale milk has a much higher fat and protein concentration than traditional bovine milk.
It often has higher lactose concentrations too (although all of this will vary from whale to whale and species to species).
So, for any number of countless reasons, there are people trying to get some whale milk.
How does that work?
Is It Legal to Purchase Whale Milk?
Before you go off trying to get your own batch of whale milk, it’s probably a good idea to talk about legality.
Can you legally purchase whale milk?
That’s actually a very complicated topic.
Generally speaking, it is a violation of state laws (in the US) to purchase raw milk from anyone other than the farmer.
Even this generalization proves untrue in various states and under various conditions.
The simple answer is that there are a lot of times when purchasing any milk can be illegal.
And, that’s not limited to the US. The EU has plenty of regulations concerning the distribution of milk and dairy products.
Whale milk complicates all of this.
As I searched through milk regulations, very few mentioned whales specifically.
So, whale milk often falls under raw food law umbrellas.
In other cases, it might not be specifically regulated at all.
But, whale captivity is closely regulated around the world.
So, unless your whale milk is coming from wild whales (which it definitely isn’t), then you need to be certain that the whales in question are legally captive.
If not, purchasing the product of illegal whale captivity could make you legally culpable for illegal practices.
I’m going very quickly over some rather complicated legal stuff here.
So, take it with a grain of salt and understand that unless you carefully vet your whale milk supplier, it’s very possible that purchasing the milk is a crime.
Where Do You Find Whale Milk?
If, after all of that, you’re still determined to get your hands on some rich, probably-fishy-tasting whale milk, then there are ways you can go about it.
The original question is whether or not you can purchase it online.
If you’re using the traditional web, not really.
There is a website that claims to sell beluga milk from whales in captivity.
The site is dubious at best, and I didn’t prove that it’s fraudulent by ordering a batch for myself (but I can’t in good conscience link it here).
If you’re really interested, the site currently says that the milk is only available to existing customers.
That’s not shady at all. It’s fine.
Outside of that, an online whale milk order is likely going to take you to the dark web.
Can I skip all of the warnings and explanations and just suggest that it’s a bad idea to order whale milk on the dark web?
I would assume that what you get isn’t actually whale milk, and you have to mess with the dark web.
If you need me to explain it all to you, you aren’t ready.
Where Else Can You Buy Whale Milk?
So, if you can’t order whale milk online, how do people get it?
More or less, you have to locally source it, and that is not an easy challenge.
Considering how big whales are, the only reliable way to get their milk is to train a captive whale.
So, locally sourcing whale milk requires you to be in touch with a marine group that currently has captive whales.
You don’t exactly have a lot of options here.
But, as I said before, there are researchers who collect the milk for scientific reasons.
If you think you have a good reason to get some milk of your own, you could try to contact them and explain the situation.
If they agree with your reasoning, they might work with you to provide the milk.
As you might imagine, that’s probably not going to be an easy sell.
I can’t speak for the researchers, but I don’t imagine that milking a whale is a simple or fast process.
That might make whale milk collectors feel a little stingy.
Is It Moral to Purchase Whale Milk?
So, let’s get down to the moral questions.
Whale milk is exceedingly rare since it only comes from the few hundred captive whales around the world (not all of which are nursing).
That means that purchasing whale milk necessarily comes with strings attached.
Is this a moral process?
It possibly could be.
There are whales in captivity that are being studied or even treated for problems.
Such captivity is not necessarily inhumane, and milk derived from that captivity could be equally humane.
But, there’s not exactly an international industry for supplying whale milk.
If you find a real seller, you have to wonder how they are able to maintain their supply.
Whales held in captivity just for their milk are almost certainly being treated inhumanely.
So, if you buy whale milk from a stranger on the internet, there’s a real chance you are in an ethical gray area (or worse).
That said, if you do contact a researcher and they offer to sell you a little milk, that could be a reasonable exchange.
Is It Safe to Consume Whale Milk?
I don’t really want to talk about this, but I feel like it’s necessary.
As I’ve covered, whale milk is typically collected either to feed infant whales or for research.
You won’t find it on the grocery store shelves for human consumption.
But, people have certainly done crazier things than drink whale milk, so here’s your disclaimer.
I have not tried whale milk for myself, but rumors around the internet suggest that it’s not a good experience.
It’s entirely possible that you could drink the milk and not get sick.
But, there is no commercial system for supplying safe whale milk to consumers, so if you drink this stuff, you’re taking a gamble.
More importantly, unless you can really vouch for your whale milk supplier, there’s no guarantee that what you’re drinking really came from a whale. Or is milk.
It’s a little food for thought.